Edgar A. Guest (1881-1959)|
She Powders Her Nose
A woman is queer, there's no doubt about that.
She hates to be thin and she hates to be fat;
One minute it's laughter, the next it's a cry
You can't understand her, however you try;
But there's one thing about her which everyone knows
A woman's not dressed till she powders her nose.
You never can tell what a woman will say;
She's a law to herself every hour of the day.
It keeps a man guessing to know what to do,
And mostly he's wrong when his guessing is through;
But this you can bet on, wherever she goes
She'll find some occasion to powder her nose.
I've studied the sex for a number of years;
I've watched her in laughter and seen her in tears;
On her ways and her whims I have pondered a lot,
To find what will please her and just what will not;
But all that I've learned from the start to the close
Is that sooner or later she'll powder her nose.
At church or a ball game, a dance or a show,
There's one thing about her I know that I know
At weddings or funerals, dinners of taste,
You can bet that her hand will dive into her waist,
And every few minutes she'll strike up a pose,
And the whole world must wait till she powders her nose.
The above poem can be found in:
Guest, Edgar A. When Day is Done. Chicago: Reilly &
Lee Co., 1921.
Edgar Albert Guest was author of the syndicated newspaper
column Breakfast Table Chat, host of a weekly radio show
from 1931 to 1942, and host of a television show in 1951.
The Michigan state senate voted Guest the state's poet
laureate in 1952.